To Be Rescued

Last night hubby and I watched The Expendables. First, you have to understand that when hubby and I decide to watch a movie, one of us picks three movies from our collection and the other chooses one out of the three. If I don't like the three movies he picked, or vice versa, I have to choose three new movies. So you can guess that last night was hubby's turn to pick four movies (because sometimes we try to give our mate more options if we know they probably won't like most of our choices). My choices were: Star Trek (bleh), Inception (boring and sad), Sherlock Holmes (good but I've seen it many times) or The Expendables (not a huge fan but I didn't mind).

If you're not familiar, The Expendables was written and directed by Sylvester Stallone, just like Rocky. Except now Sly is 60 years old and looks like a huge candle that has melted into a bumpy, almost unrecognizable mess. The plot is fairly simple and the script often bordering on cheesy. But if you're looking for a good blow-em-up, cut-em-up, see-the-blood-gush movie, this is for you.

But I was struck by how romantic Sly must be, for lack of a better word. One character returns to his girlfriend after a month's absence killing bad guys overseas. She has found another boyfriend, but one that beats her. When he sees the bruises on her face he immediately finds her boyfriend and kicks the crap out of him. "I know I'm not perfect," he tells the girl afterward, "but you should have waited. I was worth it." 

And then Sly returns to a tiny island in the Gulf on a suicide mission to save a woman he's met only once before. He crashes into the room where she's being tortured, kills the two guards in a rather gruesome fashion and gathers the woman in his arms. "No one's going to hurt you anymore, I'm here."

It reminded me of when I used to play with Barbies. There was always an "evil" Ken (which was actually a Jordan doll from New Kids on the Block), who would kidnap Barbie. It was always winter or very cold in the cave where he kept her. "Good" Ken (actually Joey from New Kids on the Block) would come and save Barbie, wrapping her in a warm blanket and carrying her to safety in her arms.

Presumably, since Sly wrote and directed this movie, he likes the idea of a man saving a woman and that his audience, mostly men, like this idea as well. Where did this innate desire or compunction to rescue/protect come from? And why do women want it too?

From Sex and the City:

Charlotte: It's because women really just want to be rescued.
Carrie: (voiceover) There it was. The sentence independent single women in their thirties are never supposed to think, let alone say out loud.
Charlotte: I'm sorry but it's true. I've been dating since I was fifteen. I'm exhausted. Where is he?
Miranda: Who? The white knight?
Samantha: That only happens in fairy tales.

I remember when hubby and I were dating. We went to a restaurant with a bunch of people that were more my friends than his, but still not good friends of mine. I wasn't 100% comfortable and he knew that. So when we walked into the restaurant, he had his arm around my waist. Then he took my coat and pulled out my chair for me. When we left, he likewise helped me with my coat and took my waist. It was like he was shielding me and letting everyone at the table know I was his and under his protection. At least that's how it felt to me.

I am not ashamed to admit that I like hubby taking care of me. I take comfort in knowing he is my defender and my champion. I like the idea of being "rescued". 

On the other hand, I don't want to be treated like a child. I don't agree that the man is the head of the household. We're partners and we both have equal say. I don't want or need hubby never to cry or show emotion or feel that he has to "be strong" all the time. After all, sometimes men need (and want) to be rescued too.

But if hubby is the head, well....

"The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck; and the neck can turn the head any way she wants." ~ Maria in My Big Fat Greek Wedding