Save Me, Mr. Clean!

 

I love a clean house. No dust on the piano. No toothpaste spittle on the bathroom mirror. No hair on the bedroom floor. Clean. Fresh. You can walk around with bare feet and not have to worry about stepping on crumbs and having to brush them off when you sit down.
I admit, I am a snob when it comes to cleanliness. I judge people on the cleanliness of their house. There. I said it. I have to be there for a few hours, though. Unless you're an absolute slob with dirty laundry on the floor, dirty dishes on the coffee table or some other obvious giveaway, I won't notice anything's amiss. But if I go over for dinner, let's say, and I have to use the washroom, I will inspect the sink, the floor and of course, the toilet. I'm not a complete ogre. It doesn't have to be absolutely sparkling but if it looks like you didn't clean before I got there, I'll judge you. I'm not saying this with any pride. It's just one of my anal tendencies coming through.
My house is a reflection of how I'm feeling. I used to clean the entire house once a week. Now with my 6 month old, I'm lucky if it's once a month. It's gotten to the point where I need people to come visit in order for me to find the energy to really clean.
My house is in shambles (compared to what it used to be). Papers in need of filing, receipts needing to be entered into our expense account, baby toys strewn all over the floor, baby clothes that have become too small needing to be put away... and this doesn't even get into the dust on everything and the floor in desperate need of a sweeping and the bathtub in dire need of a scrubbing.
Most moms I talk to say that I need to give myself a break. I do feel bad when my hubby gets home and I haven't been able to get much accomplished. But I didn't clean the house for him, I cleaned it for me. It made me feel better. It made me feel like I had some kind of control over things.
Let go and let God, right? I'm having a really hard time letting go. I didn't realize how much I clung to stuff like this. I honestly think that if someone forced me to live in a messy house, I would go insane.

I'm almost ready for the nuthouse.