Ashes and Pestering

          Ahh, Ash Wednesday. For those of you unfamiliar with the Catholic faith, today marks the beginning of Lent, the 40 days leading up to Easter. It's a time of reflection, preparation, penitence, prayer, fasting. The Church emphasizes prayer, fasting and giving alms (i.e. charity). Jesus' 40 days and nights in the desert before beginning his ministry is a good symbolic representation for what we do. He was tempted by Satan, went without and came out stronger at the end of it. Even though Jesus could have eaten at any moment he didn't. There's something to be said for self discipline. So every year you're encouraged to give something up for 40 days, something that will be a struggle but also something that will help make you a better person at the end of it. This is not to say, of course, that you need to do this to be a better person. It's merely a tool, a chance to work on yourself. When Easter arrives it's truly a celebration. Number one, because you've hopefully succeeded in your sacrifice. Number two, because you finally get to have back what you gave up. But more importantly, you've learned that you are strong, you are capable and your relationship with God has been renewed (assuming, of course, that you've spent quality time with Him). I normally ask myself, "What have I become too dependent on? What has become an idol (i.e. anything that I put before God)?" My mom would never tell us kids what she was giving up. I thought this was an ingenious way of no one noticing if you slipped up. But I know the real reason is because it's between her and God. My dad often gave up coffee because he's such an addict. I'm pretty sure my sister Little Jo always gave up chocolate. My other sister Malt_Soda had something different every year. I remember one time she gave up TV. And she did it, too. It was amazing. This year I've decided to give up my paper. Yes, my beloved morning newspaper. It's an integral part of my routine but I know in my heart of hearts I don't need it. Tomorrow marks day one!

Oh, and today, Ash Wednesday, we receive ashes, which are from the palms from Palm Sunday of last year (celebrating Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem) on our forehead in the shape of a cross. As the priest or deacon marks the ashes on our foreheads, they will say: "Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return." Meaning: remember you are mortal and are called to repent now.

Dear Someone Who Pesters My Mind (Good or Bad),

I try not to let you bother me. I understand that you are not out to get me. But sometimes it feels like you are. I think I'm generally an easy-going person; likeable. It would seem, however, that likeable doesn't always cut it. I wonder what I could do differently to make things smoother between us but all of the things I come up with I know I won't do. I think being polite is sufficient and that anything else I might do would be going against the grain of who I am.

When I reread this paragraph I know I'm making it sound like we're arch-nemeses when we're really not. There have simply been a few choice moments that pop into my head from time-to-time. I can't seem to shake them. My heart beats faster. I can feel my muscles tensing up. I think of all the things I wish I could have said, could have done.

But in the end, what does it really matter? Perhaps some relationships will always be fraught with ups and downs. I can't change you and you can't change me. I don't want to react to these difficult situations. I want to deal with them, have a game plan ready.

The important thing to focus on is what we have in common and appreciate that it's what brought us together.

Melissa