Anger

     I'm not sure what's been happening this past week, but I've been angry. Every little thing made me mad. I was constantly irritated. People, places, things caused me to grumble. Nothing changed in my circumstances so I know it was just me. I'm generally an easy-going person. I don't think people would describe me as bitchy or moody and it's not really in my nature to be continually irritable. But this week all bets were off. What's wrong with everyone, I thought. What is that person's problem, I thought. 

    And then yesterday morning as hubby was leaving for work, I snapped. Jr. dropped her bottle on the floor and hubby walked right by. ARGHHHHH!!!! So we had words. He said he hadn't noticed it had fallen on the floor and that he wasn't a mind reader, that he's a man and needs me to tell him sometimes to do stuff. I don't even remember what I said in reply! Doors were slammed. And then to make matters worse, I hit my head on the corner of a cupboard. As my eyes filled with tears I just wanted to crawl under the covers and stay there the rest of the day. Instead I started thinking of my husband and grumbling, "Asshole!" Because it's far easier to get mad then it is to let yourself be vulnerable and cry. I didn't want to cry because I was with Jr. and I didn't want to freak her out...but in retrospect I'm sure I was still freaking her out!

    I emailed my sister at work and ranting and raving told her about everything. She gave me a good pep talk. I also emailed my mom at work and asked to go for coffee. So last night while sipping a white mocha, I ranted and raved and while sipping un café au vanille aux noix et à la crème, she listened. The best thing about my mom is she can give you a good kick in the ass while at the same time making you feel like you're not crazy and that yes, sometimes you feel like you want to punch someone in the face or run away. It's a winning combo.

    I knew I was the one in the wrong yesterday morning. Hubby was going along his merry way and in ten seconds flat a tsunami managed to knock him over senseless. I understand that my attitude this week was about me, not about the people in my life or the situations I was in. I don't know that I've completely come down from my Oscar the Grouchness but I think I'm on my way.

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                                                                                                             Source: quotediary.me via Faith on Pinterest