Who Are You?

                                                                                             
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      As Jr. gets older, I'm amazed when little bits of her personality pop out. She's sensitive. I scared her once and when she jumped, I laughed. Well! She started crying, with huge teardrops to boot! Just yesterday my brother took away a toy she was playing with, not to be mean but to play with her, and she started crying. Even when he tried to give it back, it was too late. She wouldn't have it. She can also be very serious. The things that make my niece, who is 5 weeks older than her, laugh, will not make her laugh. She just looks at you like, "What are you doing??" But when she's happy, she's very happy. She can get so excited, flapping her arms around and squawking in your face. It just amazes me that this infant who was once just a little blob (a description I owe to my good friends A&A) is now becoming an actual person.

     I wonder what she'll be like when she's older. I hear my sister, Little Jo, and my sister-in-law, Mo, discussing how their kids (ages 4, 5 and 8) say the darndest things. They both wonder where they get these expressions. Obviously some of it is due to their environment but the more I look at Jr. the more I'm convinced you're simply born with certain traits and attitude.

      I don't know that Jr. will continue being sensitive but if she does, I worry for her because despite the fact that a sensitive person is often caring and perceptive, a sensitive person wears their heart on their sleeve. This often leads to heartbreak, heartache, anxiety, tears... I would know!

    On the other hand, I don't want her to see me berating myself for being sensitive or lamenting the fact that she is like me in that respect. If she thinks I think there's something "wrong" with being sensitive, then she'll think there's something "wrong" with her.

    I know I won't be able to protect her from every hurt feeling and I won't be able to convince her completely of this gift (because at the end of the day, I do believe it's a gift), but hopefully I can help her move toward that understanding. I want her to believe, to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with who she is. She just needs to understand herself; her talents and abilities, as well as her flaws and the obstacles she will probably face in life.

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