I forgot about blogging this morning. Jr and I left the house rather early this morning to go visit my mom at her work. Normally a 45 minute drive tops, we arrived after about an hour of driving. The road work in this city is unreal and many times multi-lane roads are reduced to one, no matter that it could be the busiest and most used road around. Happily, we found a parking spot right away and I'm sure my little monster was a nice break in everyone's morning.
This week I've been suffering from major SAHM stir craziness. Many a time I've wondered to myself, What am I doing?? Can I do this for four more years -- more-- if we have another kid?? Jr hasn't been soooo terrible. There have been days when she's been a lot worse. But her naps have gotten significantly shorter and her temper tantrums significantly longer and more frequent. My mom says when babies are extra fussy or are not sleeping well it's because they're about to do something new. I've also read this in my many books on babies and sleep. Apparently it takes crazy amounts of brain power and all sorts of energy to master this new technique (crawling, walking, talking, whatever) so it disturbs their regular routine. Well, I hope Jr does whatever she's going to do soon!
I planned something for every day this week to help pass the days. Monday we went to the zoo. Tuesday we went to the mall. Wednesday we went to Walmart. Today we went downtown to visit my mom. Tomorrow we have a play date with Little Monster (I am so relieved about that one. An entire day with another SAHM and her kid!).
Unfortunately, each outing didn't necessarily go so well. The zoo was pretty good but she was crying while in her car seat (to and from the zoo). The mall was good but didn't last long before she started fussing. Walmart was a disaster. She was throwing a temper tantrum before we even walked through the doors and proceeded to fuss and cry until we left. The drive downtown was blissfully quiet and the visit itself was fine. The drive home wasn't so pleasant.
It got to the point where I would dread the time in the morning when hubby would leave for work and start counting down until his return starting at 3pm (he gets home at 6ish). I would moan and complain to him but after one too many days I was made aware that it wasn't fair for me to make him feel guilty about going to work and supporting his family. Quite right.
I wrote to my sister who is also a SAHM to get some encouragement. She said it helps to remember that we chose this, that it's not something we were forced into, so we shouldn't feel trapped. We made a conscious decision to stay home and for good reasons, too. And if it all gets too much, we could always look into putting Jr into daycare for 1 or 2 days a week. But yeah, she admitted, sometimes it gets to be too much!
I don't mean to make this post sound so "woe is me". I realize how blessed we are that I am able to stay home with Jr. I do believe that this is the right decision for our family. If I had the chance to go back I would make the same decision.
That being said, it's TOUGH sometimes... and running away to join the circus doesn't seem like such a crazy idea.
Sounds like this is such a normal feeling. You're doing the hardest job of all…raising a human being! Everyone deserves a break, and like my SAH aunt always says, "you don't get a lunch hour with your kids". Basically, you have to be "on" all the time and it comes with it's own set of challenges. Enjoy all the great moments and remember that you have lots of love and support around you.
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