Mommy Business

      Jr. will be 10 months in 9 days. Ten months old! In less than a year there have been so many changes in our household, it's mind-boggling. 

     Hubby and I have changed as a married couple. We're parents now and that changes who you are right down to your core. We've experienced strong and powerful emotions because of this baby girl. We've had to learn how to be a couple all over again. Our sex life has also changed, which has taken some adjustment. We don't have the time or luxury to do it where or when we want. It often has to be planned and it's definitely not as frequent. I always thought sex was a barometer of our relationship. It took time to realize that right now, the act of sex itself isn't everything and that there are other ways of maintaining intimacy, romance and passion.

     I struggled with being a mom. It took me awhile to reconcile this new part of myself, this new facet of my identity. I think I wasn't comfortable with being labeled "mom" by every person who saw me with a baby. I had been categorized without even opening my mouth. I also resented how much being a mom took from me: time, money, sleep, my relationship with my husband, my sanity... I can look back now and understand that those feelings were largely wrapped up in the fact that my life had been turned upside down, shaken up, chewed up and spit out... putting it mildly. Maybe this was just my experience. But I know that I can't compare myself to other moms and Jr. to other babies because our experience was unique and I won't apologize for my feelings about it. 

       Almost 10 months down the road, I really like being a mom. I enjoy being with my daughter. Sure, there are days I want to run away. Days when she's fussy and she won't let me put her down. Days when she won't take a nap. Or days when I'm not feeling well but I still manage to plaster a smile on my face just for her. But I feel like I've finally caught up to what seems like all the other mothers: how wonderful it is being a mom. I'm not much for gushing but I admit I'm liking this mommy business.

       I started this post wanting to talk about Jr.'s eating and it went off on its own just like that! Jr. is now at the point where she's still eating pureed foods but she can eat whole foods too. I'm worried that I'm not giving her enough whole foods to eat. I imagine it's important for her to hone her hand-mouth coordination and continue to feed herself. But I also worry I might not give her enough to eat if she doesn't have her purees. We gave her eggs for the first time on Sunday and she seemed to really like them. She also munched on toast and potatoes. So it makes me wonder when she should just start eating whatever we're eating (within reason) or if I should continue with a little bit of both. I don't want to start her on foods that are beyond her capabilities but I don't want to underestimate her either. It's funny, but I never worried like this over starting her on purees or weaning her from the breast but for some reason this really stumps me! Then I think of my sister-in-law and my sister Little Jo and what they did for my nieces and nephew and I can't remember. It was like one day they were breastfeeding, then one day they were eating purees and then *poof!* one day they were eating what everyone else was eating! I'll figure it out eventually...