Thoughts on The Holy Longing

I haven't had time to read much further in The Holy Longing but I did manage a little. 

The author writes what we all know: it is important and healthy to have balance in your life. This balance fosters a healthy spirit or soul. The problem is that we tend to live with a dualistic mindset. For example:

The divorce between religion and eros. Rolheiser writes:

Religion got to keep God and the secular got to keep sex. The secular got passion and God got chastity. We, the children of that divorce, like all children in a broken home, find ourselves torn between the two, unconsciously longing for them to come back together again.

I agree that there's this underlying assumption that religion believes sex is evil and that the two can never mix. I think it stems from many things, but especially within the Catholic Church, that priests cannot marry, that virginity is held in high esteem and that masturbation is a no-no. First, it is believed that priests need to focus on their congregation. This way, their life is completely dedicated to service. It's not that it isn't possible to be married and serve but that priests are making an offering, a sacrifice for other people. (Think of Frodo in The Lord of the Rings, who gave up everything-- having a wife and kids like Sam-- because he gave everything of himself to destroy the ring and save Middle Earth.) As for virginity, it's not that sex is evil and purity is perfection; it comes down to a matter of discipline and self-control. We all know how tempting, how easy it is to fall within the grips of passion. It speaks volumes of a person who can withstand such temptation. As for masturbation, well, that's also a matter of self-control and selfishness. It's all about you and what you want. Religion is about selflessness. You can see why they don't mix.
But of course, there are people who are both sexual and religious, passionate and spiritual. Somehow we tend to forget that. We brush aside thoughts of lust and love while in "inappropriate" places (i.e. church) and brush aside thoughts of God and spirituality while in "inappropriate" places (i.e. the bedroom).

The divorce between spirituality and ecclesiology (church doctrine):

Typical today is the person who wants faith but not the church, the questions but not the answers, the religious but not the ecclesial, and the truth but no obedience. 

The reverse, sadly, is just as true.

We have more than enough churchgoers who want the church but not the faith, the answers, but not the questions, the ecclesial but not the religious, and the obedience but not the truth.
I have met people on both sides of this divorce. They are both as equally frustrating to deal with. They both look down on the other when in fact they've both made the same mistake.

The divorce of the gifted child and the giving adult:

The gifted child is the person, who, from the womb onward, is extraordinarily sensitive, the person who picks up, internalizes, and lives out the expectation of others. But [...] the gifted child [often] ends up becoming the embittered adult [...] feeling victimized, angry that they have always had to sacrifice their personal need to others' wishes.

Spirituality is about laying down one's life for one's friends. Today, tragically, there is a divorce between those who preach this, but without sensitivity to the drama of the gifted child, and those who, oversensitive to the pain of the victim, are unable to see that the most noble thing a human being can do is to die for something  beyond himself or herself. 
I think many people can relate to the gifted child. You give and you give and you give. It seems that no one really cares. That you've become a doormat. You become jaded and cynical, expecting the worst of people. "What's the point?" you say. Imagine, though, if we all gave of ourselves and at the same time were aware of everyone else giving of themselves and thanking them for it. Being truly grateful and thankful.