Letting Go

     Jr. is trying to crawl. It wasn't long ago she would get very upset if I put her on her stomach. She preferred to sit on her play mat, banging toys around or biting on her books. Now, however, you can see she is anxious to get going. It's like she's come to this realization that she can move. In the mornings I feed her breakfast and then put her in her play area while I make myself breakfast and then eat while reading the paper. It used to be that I could do this without interruption. These days I hear her complaining so I look over and she's on her stomach trying to reach a toy. So I put her in the seated position and before I even sit down again, she's back on her stomach. In some ways she is very determined! On the other hand, once she's on her stomach, she'll inch a bit closer to her goal but if it's too difficult she'll lay her head on the mat and fuss. I think if she were any older it would be described as whining. I can just hear her saying, "It's too hard!" I've seen her try to actually crawl on her hands and knees, not just the army-crawl-style she normally does. Unfortunately, she's had a few run-ins between her face and the floor. I think that may be the reason why she's so scared to give it a go.

     This new stage in her life got me thinking. People often ask, why doesn't God just take away all the obstacles in our lives? He has the power after all! Being a mom has given me a better understanding of this conundrum. When I see Jr. struggling on the floor my first instinct is to help her. I want to give her the toy she's after. I want to make life easier for her. But I know that if I'm always bringing the toy to her, or if I'm always rescuing her from every difficulty, she'll never learn to do it herself. Or worse, she'll never even try because she knows I'll do it for her; either she's too scared because she doesn't trust herself (mommy doesn't so why should she?) or she's spoiled. Neither of those is good!

     The other "light bulb" I had when watching Jr. struggle was telling myself to wait until she was really fussing or even crying before helping her. Obviously I can't leave her to get things herself all the time. But I can't rush in to rescue her right away. I need to learn how to wait until she "asks" for help. Until that point, she's not ready to give up. I think it's the same way with God. Sometimes he might be waiting for me to ask for help, to say, "God, I can't do this by myself. Could you please help me?" Sometimes I might just need an encouraging word, other times I might need some real help. Likewise with Jr., sometimes she just might need me to say, "You can do it!" and other times she might need me to pick her up and giver her a hug.

     At the end of the day, I want what's best for Jr. and God wants what's best for me. Sometimes that might mean letting go.